My slump story

 Hi, well let's call me A, okay?? 

So hi i am A

There is a song playing in my background and I think I have heard it 

Oh sorry i got distracted

hi again, 

So i have been thinking of writing a blog since 2 years, 2 years back I started writing though but the whole writing thing spark lasted only 2 weeks, let's see what will happen with this one. 

Tbh I am writing this one to share a long regret that i have with myself - being unproductive while being want to be really productive.

Also I am not going to use the tough vocab words ( because 1. I believe as long as you are able to understand what I am saying,  no need to add high frequency words to look cool and I definitely don't want you to Google everytime any big word come , 2. I am still learning those high frequency words lol) 

So lately it's been really tough for me to do even the silliest things - like bathing, getting up from bed, making myself a break fast and it's been really easy for me to do these things - overthinking , oversleeping and not sticking to the to do list ,feeling dead inside - not wanting to laugh, not wanting to pay attention to someone's story or whatever,easily distracted. That kind of feeling where you don't wanna do nothing but sit with yourself and probably do nothing. And in your heart you really want to do this-  seeing the sky, cooking or eating, sleeping, reading, do your work , workout, eat something delicious,   . See to me from a really long time, I have not been doing what I really wanna do and instead I found myself doing that stuff that I do not enjoy or I am just doing so that the day gets completed and I will be free and then again I will hope for a better tomorrow. So now I kinda want to do these type of things like getting involved in a deep conversation, having a good knowledge about something, a hard working personality, wanna do the stuff that I have always wanted to do and get rid of the stuff that makes me loathe myself ( or just learn to balance it ⚖️) .

I really really want to work hard on myself ( taking steering wheel of my life in my hand) and just to be consistent with the things I love. 

From the very time my days were like this - waking up late ( because in the night I was listening songs for 2 hours, god I must be insane to do that you will think, but i have done that and the amount of self regret I have in my life is literally something that you can never understand) , then obviously skipping breakfast, then using social media, sleep in between, again using social media, watch something ( movie, web series) whatever, then saying to myself tomorrow will be better. It was my everyday routine. 

I almost give myself ted talk everyday but I was not doing anything actually, and there was no reason of me doing it ( not a good reason that you would expect) what imp was that it was all happening, I didn't do something to stop it, not so much. Nothing has still changed so much except now I am trying to get out of the situation, and to work on something that I decided to do, to stick with the to do list and to read or write whatever possible in a day but definitely to do something in a day and not to give up everything for tomorrow. Well everything changes so will i 

I hope yours reading to my blog habit will not  change ( cringe I KNOW! )